Fridge Feelings

I have a personal theory, and as this is my blog, I am going to share it with you. I have done zero scientific research and my theory is entirely unsubstantiated. But you clicked here so you get what you pay for, right? Right. Glad you agree.

Here is my theory:

Refrigerators act as emotional amplifiers.

Think about it.

You’re feeling bored, you’re not really hungry, just sort of empty inside, and you open the fridge, maybe for the third time in an hour.

And rather than providing answers or explaining to you that your existential angst is on the soul level and will not be fixed by a late-afternoon snack, the fridge simply amplifies your feelings.

You stare in there, at a shelf full of drink cans and something resembling last month’s turkey and spinach lasagna that was (shocker) not delicious, and the only thing that happens is you feel more bored. You might grab a sparkling water or a cold piece of pizza, but you know it won’t help. Your time spent looking into the fridge simply makes you feel more of the thing you were already feeling.

Or, conversely, you are excitedly pacing your apartment, waiting for guests to arrive. It’s the party of the year and it’s at your house and you are just about to burst open with glee. (To be perfectly candid, I’ve never experienced such glee but I’ve seen it in several of my roommates over the years so I know it does happen.) Without thinking, you wander into the kitchen, you open the fridge, you see a tub of leftover icing from the cake you made this morning, and your heart starts thumping so hard you won’t even need the subwoofer you borrowed for the evening. Amplified emotions.

I genuinely believe this works for all emotions – happiness (Look, food! I love food!), sadness (Ugh they don’t even make those cheesecake bars anymore and that’s the only thing that would make me feel better), and fear (what if that deli meat gives you e. coli?!) to name a few. The more I think about it, the more I think fridges should come with a warning label: “Nearness to appliance may increase feelings; avoid use during negative emotional periods.” Of course, then some of us would have to stay out of the kitchen for the rest of our lives, but still, the warning would be nice.

What do you think? Are Fridge Feelings a thing?