I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately. So many, in fact, that I’ve been overwhelmed by the idea of putting them into words to share. So instead of trying to be highly organized, I’m just going to dive in and share a few thoughts. Ready? Great.
In an ongoing effort to be more financially responsible, I’ve been following #debtfreecommunity on social media. This has been my favorite quote so far:
“Do you ever look back at how much money you’ve earned in your life and wonder what on earth you spent it on?”
Yes. The answer is yes.
And not just money. I look back at my life and the hours I’ve lived and wonder how I spent them, and what on earth happened to my time, my effort, my goals and dreams.
Not that it’s been all bad, of course! I went to the Grand Ole Opry to see Carrie Underwood and some random but stellar band called the Possum Touchers (not together). I ran two half marathons. I’ve been in a lot of weddings. I have spent countless hours laughing, mostly at things that aren’t actually funny, I’ve just been tired from not spending enough hours sleeping.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Yes, of course that’s part of being human. But when you look back at all of those blunders, they’re particularly noticeable in the patterns of my life.
I think this is true of all of us.
And recently it’s been brought to my attention that it’s not only true of each of us as individuals, but as collective groups, societies, cultures, institutions.
And Churches. Actually, the whole church, since Jesus went back to heaven.
Have you looked back at the history of Christianity lately? I have, and like the Genie says in Aladdin, “It’s not a pretty picture and I don’t like doing it!”
Over the past 2,000 years, we’ve spent most of our time grabbing power, earning (or stealing) money, stepping on the weak, and ignoring the hurting. In the past 400 years in this country alone, we’ve slaughtered millions of people in the name of Jesus, because we decided we have the only right view of God and the world. It’s a history of pain and suffering and oppression, and it’s absolutely no fun to think about.
It’s especially hard to think about when we’ve personally not added to that legacy in such obvious ways. I haven’t killed or displaced any native people groups lately. But have I actually spent my hours, effort, and time correcting those mistakes? Have I tried to mend the shredded history of the church by offering medicine and kindness and help, or by pretending it was never shredded in the first place? In fact, am I actually still benefiting every day from the greed-soaked mistakes of the Christians that came before me?
Last week I was given a large chunk of hours just to look back on our history, and think about my life and perspectives. And honestly, it was overwhelming. Figuring out how I have contributed to the chaos of this world, and especially discerning how to fix that, is a crazy-maker. It’s been flurrying around in my mind for the last ten days like a constantly-shaken snow globe.
But then, this morning, I read this, in the Christian handbook:
“Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows.”
(Isaiah 1:17, NLT)
Well, that’s pretty straightforward. Not a lot of ambiguity or questions there, huh?
Learn to do good, because humans generally need help in that arena. Seek justice, because in this world justice can be hard to find. Help the oppressed, because there are whole groups of people that have been stepped on in the name of progress and patriotism. Defend the cause of orphans, because this world always contains neglected children who can turn out to be our next leaders. Fight for the rights of widows, because in this broken system it’s easy for men to overlook the female humans who can help them make a better world.
And honestly, although those things sound incredibly difficult, they’re not overwhelming. They’re just concrete steps toward following God. Toward being a church that loves instead of hates.
I want to look back on my life and know that I spent my hours learning to do good.
What do you want to look back and see?
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