It’s been a while since I’ve written about depression.
The simple reason why: My depression has both improved and stayed the same. It has changed and it hasn’t.
And how do you write about that?
People like simple progress. We like it when someone goes from point A to point B, even if there’s only an inch between the two. Inspiring stories are rags to riches, here to there, failure to success. We have dozens of sayings about moving forward.
I saw an Instagram post recently that read, “Not celebrating your small progress is like finding $5 on the ground and being pissed it’s not a $100.”
It’s true, it’s important to celebrate little wins and to remind yourself that progress is progress.
But what if the $5 you find on the ground is also covered in dog poop and when you go to wipe it off you accidentally get the poop on your new white shoes?
This is true of other sayings as well – heck even my posts about “being better than I was yesterday” or “setting achievable goals” are basically platitudes that support the idea of moving from Step 1 to Step 2. But as humans, especially mentally ill ones, we can’t always move forward. Sometimes being better than I was yesterday in one category makes me a jackass in another category, and going after an achievable goal can mean forgetting to be present in the moment, which isn’t necessarily better.
In other words, progress isn’t always linear.
For me, depression can attack anytime, taking me down when I least expect it. And even after years of “progress,” this is still true. The worst ninjas can still strike at any moment, and even though I have improved in a lot of ways, I often feel less prepared to deal with the attacks now than I did three years ago.
So I’d like to argue that sometimes these platitudes are unhelpful. They indicate an expectation to move forward, and it’s just not realistic. You can say “celebrate your small progress” if someone goes from one pushup to two, or if they’ve learned how to not burn the bacon but they still burn the eggs. But when it comes to mental illness, it’s really not that helpful to talk about progress.
So can we set aside the unhelpful platitudes for certain situations? Or perhaps refer to these progress-specific platitudes as something else, like platypuses instead, just to differentiate? Unhelpful platypuses belong in kitchens and gyms, not mental illness discussions.
Then maybe we can celebrate progress that also feels like failure and is complicated. What do you think?
What are some unhelpful platypuses you’ve heard in life?
The idea for this post came from my intrepid editor. KJ, you are a very helpful platypus and I appreciate you.
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