“When you hang around the right people, adventure comes to you.”
– Mom
By the time I became a road trip bra, I knew my life was nearly over.
I started out so young, so naive, so fearless. Chosen from literally hundreds of options in a massive sporting goods store in a bustling city, I had to meet certain qualifications to succeed. And boy did I meet those qualifications!
Since the inception of the sports bra in 1975, our existence has been predicated upon two goals: support and comfort for your melons. For 40 years, women have relied upon us to hold up their girls while they run the world, and to do it in such a way that everyone forgets we’re even here.
In other words, subtle strength was the name of our game.
But in 1999, when one of my kind was first revealed on national television, a third bosom goal surfaced: looks.
It was no longer enough to simply hold your shoulder boulders in place without unnecessary irritation. Now we had to look good doing it!
Along came new colors, patterns, stripes, witty words, and (hold onto your knockers) glitter.
Whether your maracas are the size of walnuts or wagons, you can find the perfect one of us for you. Climbing Mount Everest and need extra warmth? We’ve got you covered. Playing tennis with your ex and need a little bounce? Not a problem. Your bongos are our business, and business is good.
The best part is that we get to go along for the ride! From the yoga studio next door to the rides at Disneyland, we see it all. And each one of us started with a purpose – mine was for the gym.
But, like everything on this earth, we age. We start to stretch and sag, and we can no longer hold your coconuts the way you need us to. So we start to see less action, and more tv time. Fewer workout sessions, more road trips.
And honestly, that’s okay by me. My life is almost over, but what a life it has been.
I’ve got your front, babe. Let’s hit the road together, one last time.
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