Roots and Wings

If you know me, you know that I am a learner. I like to gather information, pick up new skills, broaden my horizons, read a lot of books, and meet a wide variety of people. (I didn’t say a LOT of people. I am an introvert, after all.) All of this learning means that I have a lot of different interests, hobbies, groups, and things I’m passionate about.

But lately, that’s started to feel weird. I don’t know if it’s because I’m doing most things from home, so life is playing out on a screen and the lines between the parts of my life are now only in my head, but I’m feeling a little like I’m trying to be six different people at once. And it’s getting…confusing.

For instance, each of my conversations is completely different, and often each group wouldn’t even understand what the others are saying. My work team talks about Js versus Ps and RMO status. My church friends talk about Ableton and stage presence. My family talks about chainsaw mills and hay bale counting. My business partner and I talk about the EQi and SEO strategies. Of course there’s some overlap, but mostly it’s a distinct separation between groups.

I’m only in my early 30s and I already feel like I’ve lived many different lives. In fact, I feel like I’m living them all at once. Some of my lives are planted and secure and mundane, and some are dreams and ideas and adventures.

I was reflecting on this recently and feeling a little disturbed. Do I need to narrow my path? Choose some direction in life before I am pulled apart by my strangely fractured life?

And then, as often happens to me in these situations, a quote from a Reese Witherspoon movie came to mind:

“Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Mel.”

Sweet Home Alabama

Roots and wings. Isn’t that a tremendous metaphor?

To me, having roots and wings means being known and safe and secure in some places, but also free to dream and change and grow in others.

It means I am a country girl and that will never change, but that I can also love living in a state capital city. I can be more than one thing because I know who I am, and I can adventure outside that identity to add on new parts and new ideas and new people.

I don’t want to feel fractured. I want to feel whole and complex. So I’m going to start thinking of the parts of my life like roots and wings, to allow myself room both to rest and to fly.

Have you ever felt like you were living multiple lives? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.