Waking Up

Yes, hello. I am still alive.

I apologize for the extended silence. Shockingly, my time got away from me (eye roll.)

I went on sabbatical and then it sort of felt like all hell broke loose after that. Typical: I try to take a break and the world falls apart!

(JK. I am only 3% responsible for keeping the world together.)

One of the myriad things that arrived when hell broke loose into my living room was medication-induced insomnia. Basically, I now lie awake at night, physically tired but mentally cranking like a freight train headed downhill. It’s led to some very humorous thought processes, because I have extra hours to just lie there and think. And I’ll probably tell you about those soon, because they’re damn funny or weird.

But a few nights ago I had a fascinating thought process. I mentally noted it to tell a friend in the morning, but then when I woke up I couldn’t really remember it. I remembered the feeling that I had learned something or figured something out, and that I wanted to share it. I even remembered what started it (contemplating the rules of time travel.) But I had absolutely no idea what the actual thing was.

I had woken up and the event was gone but the feeling remained.

Which caused me to wonder this: if, after celebrating New Years in a few weeks, I woke up and all of 2020 was gone, the events themselves and the specifics all faded like a weird dream, and I was back at January 1st, 2020, ready to start the new decade again, what would the lasting feeling be? What would I remember?

I think I would be a different person starting 2020 again. I think I’m more patient, more able to enjoy the little things, and more likely to take risks because I’m not as afraid of change. I think the feeling I would wake up with would be one of contentment, or a desire to be content with what I have, no matter what happens.

What about you? If you woke up in two weeks, all the details of 2020 erased, just the feelings and lessons left, what would you remember?