My friend recently sent me two podcast episodes on the Enneagram and Trauma.
Before I say more, two things you should know:
- If you’re like, “Oh my gosh more about this Enneagram nonsense,” don’t touch that dial! The podcast was where the inspiration for this post started, but you don’t have to know anything about the Enneagram in the following post.
- I’m going to give you the links to the podcast, but BE WARNED: if you do know your enneagram number, this one is a gut-wrencher. Like maybe listen alone in your car or lying on your therapist’s couch so you can immediately discuss it.
- Whoops, I guess three things. I’m so silly, I can’t even count! I’m going to start by using the word “repentance,” which is not a great word for some of us, but if you can hang in there I’ll redefine it. If you cannot hang, then I wish you a wonderful Friday full of kicks and giggles, and may the force be with you.
Good gravy on biscuits that was a long introduction for a short post, but we made it!
So these podcast episodes. They talked about how each person is different, and we each have to figure out what active repentance looks like for us. I would define repentance as “humble growth.” You’re owning your mistakes, you feel regret or remorse for the pain they’ve caused (including to yourself,) but you’re moving forward and trying to change. Cool? Cool.
Humble growth looks different for different people. For someone whose personality is aggressive and has a high felt need for control, humble growth means recognizing those tendencies, apologizing for where they’ve caused harm, and actively choosing to listen, let some things go, and work toward empathy. In contrast, I am someone whose naturally tendency is to shut down, ignore the world, and numb out with whiskey and Netflix. For me, humble growth means recognizing and apologizing for the ways I have hurt others by choosing not to engage, and actively choosing to be present, communicate my needs, and trust that my voice and perspective matters.
That’s it. That’s my thought for this week. That we each have to look at ourselves, acknowledge our failures, own them, and then assess what growth looks like for us. We’re all different on purpose. We all bring something great to the table. But we have to recognize that there are roadblocks for each one of us, and we have to do some humble growth before we can get past them.
What about you? I’d love to hear what humble growth means for you.
Here are the podcast links:
https://theplacewefindourselves.libsyn.com/30-trauma-and-the-enneagram-part-1
https://theplacewefindourselves.libsyn.com/31-trauma-and-the-enneagram-part-2
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