!שלום
So, in August of 2020, I reached peak mental boredom.
Some of my friends would say, “Yeah, what else is new?”
And you’re right. It’s not new. My brain has always, as long as I can remember, become bored very easily.
My mother actually banned the word “bored” in our household when I was growing up. I think I would have gotten in more trouble for saying I was bored than for dropping the F-bomb (although in fairness that might have had something to do with shock value, as I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what the F stood for until I was at least 17.) Regardless, my mother would have none of my whiny claims that I couldn’t find anything to do. “Go outside,” she’d say. “Or read a book.”
And for the most part, her method worked. I learned early on to keep my noggin busy. If things get too quiet up there, I can spiral quickly into negative thinking, negative feelings, and complete lethargy the likes of which has only been experienced by creatures that don’t have skeletons. Like amoebas. Or…umm…bacteria? Clearly I need to freshen up my mental catalog of invertebrates.
Anyway.
This is all a bit contradictory to what you might think, considering I am hard-wired for being alone, quiet, and socially-awkward. However, there’s a Godzilla-sized difference between being doing nothing and thinking nothing.
I recently told a friend that I work hard, play hard, and chill hard. But when I chill, I cannot stop thinking.
My thoughts are the Olympic torch. They never go out.
That metaphor didn’t work.
You get the idea.
So, back in August, when I reached peak mental boredom due to quarantine, job changes, shifting social interaction and limited library access, I needed to do something.
I have no idea why, but I decided to learn Hebrew.
I mean, it’s an Ancient Language. Does one really need ad reason to learn an Ancient Language, beyond the cool factor? What’s that? Oh, you say “nerd,” I say “cool,” tomato, tomahto.
And so, as of today, I am 217 days into learning Hebrew. And it is FASCINATING.
What is my point here?
It’s really quite simple.
After 33 years of being alive, I have come to terms with the fact that my brain, body, and soul work in specific ways that are not “normal” for everyone. Because of this, I have to find what works for me. I have to find coping skills, hobbies, and systems that help me to be okay being me.
One of those coping skills is learning Hebrew. It gives me a small goal to work toward, so I feel like I’m progressing toward something even on my worst days. It’s stupidly complicated so my brain likes the puzzle of figuring it out. And hopefully, after another 300-500 days or so, I can say that instead of being bored, I taught myself Hebrew.
Which is…unusual. But honestly? That’s fine with me.
?למי אכפת
How do you deal with being you? Are there any unusual coping skills or habits or hobbies that you’ve learned over the years to help you be you?
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