Yeah, hi. So, I have COVID symptoms from a shot that’s supposed to keep me from getting COVID, even though I’ve already had COVID. And if that sentence didn’t make your head hurt, then clearly you are immune to COVID and all its emotional and mental confusion.
I got my second vaccine on Wednesday, and let’s just say it was not a pleasant experience. Not awful. Not as bad as COVID itself, mainly due to the short duration of the symptoms. But not pleasant.
And through the 24-ish hours during which I felt this post-vaccination schlump (do yourself a favor and look up the word, “schlump,” because it has a fascinating history and its proper use is NOT what I just used it for but it felt great when I did it so I’m leaving it in) I kept trying to remind my body: you’re not actually sick. You just think you’re sick.
Shockingly, this reminder didn’t seem to change anything. Because to my body, this was real sickness. Real antibodies were called upon to fight the sickness, and real symptoms arose from the battle.
It’s as if my body doesn’t really care what my logical brain has to say.
Earlier this week, I was resting my right hand on the steering wheel, driving casually in rush hour traffic (construction season, UGH) and suddenly my hand began to itch. I know, “Cool story, bro.” But as I started to reach with my left hand to scratch the itch, I reflexively and immediately stopped, because a large alarm bell was going off that the spot that was itchy was a patch of burnt skin and I MUST NOT ITCH IT.
Now, you should know that there is currently no burn on my hand. My logical brain knows that the last time I burned that particular patch of skin was in 2012 (Pike Place coffee and I have a rough relationship.) Even though it was a second-degree burn that blistered and scabbed, only when I get immensely tan can you ever tell I was burned there. That burn basically could never have happened.
And yet when I went to scratch an itch here in 2021, my body hit CONTRL+ALT+DLT and was like, “nope.”
Because my body remembers. Even when my eyes look down and say, “No burn,” my body remembers.
My body knows it is sick when it has symptoms of sickness.
It does not care what my logical, scientifically-resourced brain says.
So why, oh why, do I have trouble listening to my body? Why do I always feel like my logical brain should win out? Why am I sitting here typing, late at night, still a little blurry-eyed and completely exhausted from the vaccine, just because my brain says tomorrow is Friday, blog-post day?
I’m not saying I should only listen to my body and never my brain. But why can’t it be a little more balanced?
Thoughts?
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