I was standing in line in the grocery store this week during the evening “grabbing a few things in order to make dinner” rush, and the register line I was standing in had another register facing it, so I was standing next to the people in the other line.
Two men were waiting in the line next to me, separate from each other, both holding a small number of items in their arms. One was fairly young and one was fairly old. The younger gentleman looked like a stereotypical nerd – short and chubby, poorly dressed in cut-off shorts and flip flops and an ancient t-shirt, wild beard and hair, buying lemon-flavored vodka and a six-pack of Budweiser. We’ll call him Mitch. The older gentleman was tall, with a hand-knit beanie on his bald head, cargo shorts, also an ancient (and tie-dyed) t-shirt, socks with sandals, and was carrying a dozen cans of cat food and a container of cat litter. We’ll call him Dennis. Really, the only differences between them were their age and the fact that Dennis’ white beard was neatly trimmed.
It all started when Mitch turned around and said to Dennis, “I’m waiting for an Uber anyway, do you want to go ahead of me?” Which caught my attention because people are rarely so thoughtful.
Dennis politely declined, said he was in no hurry, and silence ensued for a few seconds.
Then Mitch turned again to Dennis and said, “Hey, man! I think I know you! You used to come into Target and get a big pretzel every day with extra salt!”
Dennis seemed a bit stunned for a moment, and then said, “Yes! You’re right!”
Mitch said, “Yeah, I used to be a Team Lead over there and I worked the counter some days. But they turned it into a grab-and-go thing.”
There was concern in Dennis’ voice as he responded. “Do they not have pretzels anymore??”
Mitch said, “Oh they do. They’re just not as good. Hey, you used to work with that guy, Andrew, right? Do you still?”
Dennis explained that when the pandemic began, he left his job and started working from home, and that he’d never go back because business was booming. His job had to do with technology but I didn’t catch exactly what it was.
Mitch seemed delighted. “That’s great, man! So glad for you.”
“Thank you! I’ve loved it. You don’t need a job, do you?”
Mitch smiled. “No, I’m still with the company, just in a different role. But thanks for the offer!”
At this point I had to start paying for my protein bars and bottle of wine so I missed a few steps in the conversation, but I heard enough to learn that Dennis was buying items for his mom’s cat, and he was in no hurry to reach her.
Mitch paid for his beer and then he turned, very intentionally, looked Dennis in the eye, and said, “Hey, you take care, man.”
Dennis stuck out his hand, causing Mitch to shift his groceries in order to shake hands, and matched the serious tone. “Stay safe, son.”
Then Mitch and I left in separate directions.
There are two reasons why I wanted to tell you this story:
First, because it’s a reminder to me not to judge books by covers and all that nonsense that we all know but we all constantly forget.
And second, because, odd as it may seem, Mitch inspired me. He didn’t have to acknowledge Dennis. They weren’t friends. He didn’t have to interact at all, especially in a pandemic where everyone wants to be left in their six-foot bubble. But instead, he chose to connect. And Dennis appreciated it so much that he was willing to offer the possibility of a job to this young, Budweiser-drinking man who used to work the pretzel counter at Target.
They were practically strangers, but they showed care to each other.
And I want to do more of that.
Have you seen any moments like this lately? I’d love to hear about them.
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