Happiness in the Holidays

AM I DOING IT RIGHT?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to find happiness in the holidays. Around this time of year, a regular topic of debate arises in our culture: what is the best way to do the end-of-year holidays? This debate comes with many questions. Here are just a few.

• When is it appropriate to decorate for each holiday?
• Is Christmas infringing on the other holidays?
• Are Thanksgiving and Halloween even important?
• Is Christmas really just all about consumerism?
• Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

And so on and so forth until January. Actually, make that February or March, when people stop arguing about when to take their decorations down. Maybe even later than that.

I think there’s a common issue underlying this debate. The issue is, “What is the best way to celebrate?” And maybe even its closely related cousin, “Am I doing it wrong?”

(You might disagree with that last part, and that’s fine. You might say that your defense of Die Hard as a Christmas movie is not about you doing it wrong; it’s about others doing it wrong. And perhaps so. But if you feel completely confident in your choices, why bother arguing? Aren’t you trying to get more people on your side so you feel better about your decision? That’s my perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on that!)

A TRICKY SITUATION

But the problem is that finding the best way to celebrate is tricky! It’s difficult to find happiness in the holidays because there are so many options! And not only do you have to make decisions every single year, but you might also feel differently about those decisions every single year!

I grew up in a strictly “no Christmas before December 1st household.” And I respect that. But as an adult who deals with Seasonal Affective Disorder and chronic anxiety, some years I just really need the joy of Christmas in November. So I started watching Lifetime Christmas movies by the bucketful last week, and I have no shame. It’s what I need to do to find happiness in the holidays, at least up to this point. Who knows, maybe I’ll feel different next year!

The actually fairly simple point that I’m trying to make here is this: the holidays are complicated, and our feelings, needs, and wants change. So this is me giving you permission (although you don’t really need it) to find your own happiness in the holidays this year. I’m watching Christmas movies in November, but you don’t have to!

FINDING HAPPINESS IN THE HOLIDAYS

For you, it might not be ditching tradition. It might be addressing the growing stress and exhaustion that’s looming as we head into late November. Or talking about expectations and hopes with your family members for their upcoming visit. Or deciding to say no to that third office Christmas party but instead inviting your neighbor over for a stack of Lunchables. Or making a budget so you can set aside your financial concerns. I don’t know what it is for you.

But I highly recommend taking some time to reflect and assess: what will make you happy this holiday season? And what won’t? I know we can find happiness in the holidays if we worry less about finding the best way to celebrate and instead find what works for each of us this year.

What do you think? How are you finding happiness in the holidays this year? Let me know in the comments!